Solo Mission: September 2010

Thursday, September 30, 2010

food for thought AKA the cockroach incident

those of you who follow my words as regularly as i write them know that food is a pretty common theme throughout my journeys. unfortunately my work schedule pushes my dinner time back to too-late-for-most-restaurants and i often find myself trekking across the street to wander through the shelves of 7-11 for a hearty, nutritious, late-night meal to stay up late or go to bed on. so when i decided to switch up my routine a few nights ago, it was a toss-up between food trucks that park street side along the main street after hours, or this dumpling and noodle joint frequented by late night Japanese engineers. i settled for the latter. those of you who've heard my stories, rants, and raves about this far-east country also know that a really good bowl of beef noodles is delicious, but hard to come by. so when i saw potential in this dumpling place i thought i might have found a new joint to add to my rotation of food spots.

when i got home and took the lid off that greasy, brown, beefy broth soup my tummy was a'rumbling. after close inspection of said soup du jours i started to spoon out what i thought might have been a mammal hair of some sort (this being a familiar occurrence 'round these parts). wrong. once i submerged my spoon into the beefy goodness and fished out the whisker it had a tiny but plump baby bug thats most likely of the cockroach sort attached to the end of it. it was at that exact moment that i realized what i thought was a hair was actually a thick bristle of antennae reaching out from the creature's head piece. now here's where most, if not all of you guys, would've tossed that ish aside and once again checked the evenings 7-11 stock. i however, took a long pause, and considered the situation. with my stomach instantly going from rumbling to turning i considered tossing it. then i considered a few things i've realized since being over here... most importantly being the waste of good food. FYI, i am a firm believer of the 10 second rule (if its really delicious, and has not fallen in wretched filthiness, it may be extended to about 30 seconds). the next thought being how often this probably happens not only here, but everywhere around the world. bugs and vermin of all sorts crawl up and down food in even the most fanciest of McDonald's and 'bar and grills' (but definitely not Chipotle...don't ever speak ill of Chipotle). which then leads me to believe i'm kind of lucky to have found the bug, because in reality...i'm sure there are millions of people who never saw the bug. ha!! so, i ended up eating the damn beef noodles after tossing the bug and changing my eating utensil. and they were delicious. thats not the worst thing in the world, right? i mean, the tiny bug was dead, the water, oil and broth soup combo was hot enough to boil away any grossness attached to the filthy street crawler, right? ill admit i was kinda worried about the outcome of my actions following the removal of the bug. thoughts of morphing into a creature resembling that of "The Fly" or the kid from "Metamorphosis" sprouted through my head. however, i've yet to find thick coarse hairs sprouting from my skin and i'm not seeing 64 tiny versions of whatever i'm looking at through my eyes, so i think i'm cool. ill keep you updated if i start eating out of garbage cans and puking on my food before i start to eat it...

so i've been pondering...is it worse to find the disgusting critter, dispose of it along with the food surrounding it, and then finish your meal, or is it worse to never have even seen the bug and huffed it all down unknowingly?

(haha! i feel like that can be a monologue to either the end or the beginning of a Sex and the City episode)

(haha, sorry, no pictures)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Pirates of the Water Between Japan and Taiwan

Some teachers and I commandeered a cruise ship from the Star Cruises fleet this week and took it to the tiny Japanese Islands of Ishigaki and Okinawa. The trip was almost sidetracked due to extreme weather conditions brought on by not one, but 3 typhoons. But, we ended up following one out to sea rather than running a course directly into it. Sweet. So we drove 3 hours up north to Keelung and boarded the ship around 3 p.m. Sunday.

We got to chill for about an hour or so before the boat left the port. Perfect for Jory and I to participate in some poolside party antics, which included a balloon chasing game that I’m pretty sure is aimed at making its participants look like assholes. Anyway, this asshole lost.

Having never been on a cruise ship before I assumed the massive size of the boat might some how reduce the ocean-motion, swinging, wavy, drunk feeling. This is not the case. Walking around on the boat brought me back to the spring break trips the boys and I took in Daytona. For those who don’t occasionally participate in heavy binge drinking; the feeling of walking on this ship isn’t far from that of a 7-day alcohol induced haze of minor dizziness and uncoordinated walking, sans the slurred speech and lifetime reminders (haha! I love you Miles) of mistakes made.

The rest of the first day was spent on deck receiving emergency evacuation demonstrations from the ship crew (this is the point when visions of myself in a huge orange rescue raft accompanied by scurvy ridden, heat stroke crazy survivors surrounded by hungry sharks popped into my head, followed by a comedy bit about sharks http://comedians.jokes.com/robert-schimmel/videos/robert-schimmel---punch-a-shark Thank you ‘I Shouldn’t Be Alive’ and Robert Schimmel) and exploring the ship until dinnertime. After dinner we went to our room and I received my first lesson in the Chinese gambling phenom that is Mahjong. After playing for a solid 90minutes, possibly two hours, I left the room with my pockets about $700NT lighter. I spent the rest of the evening checking out the ship’s entertainment and crazy cool, clear starry skies.

Day two we set foot ashore the tiny island of Ishigaki. We spent 6 hours checking out beaches, glass-bottom boats, a few temples, and an old historic area with traditional Japanese houses and a caged area that houses about 20 of the most adorable pick-pocketing monkeys you’ll ever get jacked by. I laughed aloud as I witnessed one of them reach into a woman’s bag and steal a pack of gum/candy, scurry off into a tree and then proceed to open the pack of candy only to empty its goods onto the ground below. Hilarious.

Back on the ship I chilled poolside until dinnertime again and then we caught a dance show starring a bunch of European dancers and some Chinese acrobats. After the show I stepped into the casino for a chance to invest in the ships repair costs and Captain’s bonuses. I sat at the blackjack table and hit the ground running. I had chain smoking, grumpy, old dudes and young card counters letting their chips ride on me (In the end I’m pretty sure I won them more money than I won myself). My luck started to fade and in the end it took me about three hours to drain it dry and lose about $3000NT (you’ll see that this is a common theme throughout this trip). After another winless night I chilled on the top deck until I feel asleep in a pool chair and woke up to drag myself below deck into my coffin style bunk.

Day three! Inland on Okinawa. The day started out cool as we went to a cultural center to watch a traditional drum show, wander through a bat cave of stalactites and stalagmites and take a glimpse and sample of a local brewery that specializes in snake wine. Then it went down hill as for some reason they feel the Japanese outdoor shopping mall is something of amazement. In fact, it isn’t. It was a tremendous waste of 3 hours in Japan to go to a shopping mall and see a bunch of overpriced everything I could’ve not bought anywhere else in the world...

with the exception of the food court (Hahaha! why is there a BONE in a hot dog? and WHERE did it come from???)

I went into the Adidas store, and then sat on a bench for about 1.5 hours. Stupid. Back to the ship, poolside, and dinner. Back to the casino, this time to let the others take a shot at banking some Hong Kong dollars. However, greed or vengeance got the best of me and I laid down about $3000NT more at the roulette and blackjack tables. Needless to say my luck didn’t board the ship with me in Keelung. And within less than two hours I was walking out of the casino looking for entertainment that wouldn’t lighten my wallet. It was then that I found a show room hosting another party with singing, dancing, and team activities involving balloons and hats and music and shouting and feminine Philippine hosts (shout out to my boy Henrix!). After winning a balloon blowing race and then leading my team to failure in a balloon passing race, the party soon ended and I lounged around the top deck again until bedtime.

Day four was the return to Taiwan. This was spent doing absolutely nothing. I sat atop the ship soaking up the sun and peering out at the sea, occasionally chatting it up with other Taiwanese vacation goers. It was awesome. (Apologies to everyone I was with if I came off as a party pooper, but I was all about maxin’ and relaxin’ to the fullest that last day). We got back to Taiwan around 4 o’clock Wednesday and drove back home (props to Jory for being the designated driver all the time, I’d drive myself but I’m almost positive I’ll kill someone)